also

My father was trying to run a Cycling Or Something program disc on our laptop/desktop, but found that the thing wouldn't work with macs.

Instead of, you know, using a different program, or just buying the Mac version (90 percent cert it exists) this motherfucker BOUGHT A HUGENORMOUS PC DESKTOP AND STORED IT IN THE WORKOUT ROOM BECAUSE WE HAVE NO GODDAMN PLACE TO PUT IT.

REALLY

REALLY.

HE BOUGHT

A PC 

OUT OF SPITE





WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AM I RELATED TO THIS MAAAAAAAAAAAN

xx

Catching Up

My poor, poor blog, I've abandoned you once again.
Granted, I've had actual Life to attend to, always fun.

It's thanksgiving weekend here in Canada (the fact that I have to clarify is just another way that American culture has shit on my life), so I got the day off school today, which I appreciate. Unfortunately, I've spent all weekend with family invading my house/personal space, so it's not like I've been kicking back on my tumblr or anything.

The life I lead is a difficult one.

--

Okay, don't get me wrong. I love my family.
I just... hate them. With more of a passion and frequency and intensity than I find myself loving them.

But I have Calabrese blood in me (Italians? no? moving on...) so, you know, it's acceptable.

Yesterday was dramatic. I managed to offend an entire family branch of mah people in under thirty seconds, which is probably a record for me. Not that I particularly care whose feelings I hurt or when (leggo Simona, make yourself sound like EVEN MORE of a cold hearted biatch than you already are!); it's just that, now I have to do the whole Ego Buildup, I'm Sorry I Didn't Mean What I Said thing, which is always the worst part.
I'm not good at apologizing, because I never say things that aren't true, so I'm never really truly sorry for saying them.

Why People Think I'm Awful: A Short History

Oh how I wish I could go into specifics.

Where are my internet friends from across the globe who will come save me and bring me to AustraliaNewZealandDublinEtc and let me help run their small but internationally acclaimed Internet Thing for just enough profit/board?
Where are they now?

Going to go read the 294038957486548 Cracked.com (don't make fun of me, I have no idea how I end up there I just DO) articles I noncommittally opened in under a minute,

Simona *

Oh yeah

Roma was cool

Italy has a lot of indians in it I guess?

And everyone speaks every language on earth all the time?

And weird italian boys kept trying to buy us roofie coladas drinks because Sam is pretty and outgoing and stuff.

It's ok. She can have pretty and outgoing and stuff. I'll stay headthinky.

um.

THAT IS ALL GOODBYE

xx
S

I have this built in defence mechanism, where, like, if someone makes puppy dog eyes at me, I die

Which leads me to believe I was probably born in a test tube somewhere in America and then given to brainwashed Canadian people (my parents) once the experiment was over and now I just have to live as a person until I'm activated as an extraordinarily awkward sleeper cell of sorts.

And stuff.

That seems like a very America kind of thing to do to a person.

I just, like, can't even ever.

The thing is (with me living as a person until I'm activated as an extraordinarily awkward sleeper cell of sorts), is that I SUCK at it. I SUCK at being a person.

And I mean this in the least ooh-I'm-a-teenaged-girl-and-I-feel-awkward-because-it's-TRENDY kind of way possible.

I'm just like not good at emoting. About anything.

I DUNNO EMOTIONS MAKE ME NERVOUS LIKE AH STOP GO AWAY

and stuff

x

Simona

Since I Brought Up The Trip To Rome And I'm Leaving Today

This entire ordeal was super last minute, if I didn't know better I would think Nonna was sending me and rach and sam to be executed for her weird amazonian tribe of youth. Is that how normal vacations work? She just kinda called last month like "wanna go to italy?" and I was like "sure" and that was that. Weird life.

But! Still! Visiting the motherland! Hopefully brushing up on some of my should-be-but-isn't native tongue!

I am a sad excuse for an italian, given my blonde hair and inability to speak the language.

I don't remember much of italy- I've only ever been when I was much younger.

Why did my mum just hug me? Maybe I am being executed in the spirit of a weird amazonian tribe of youth. We're not really big on hugging or feelings or emotions and whatnot in my family. Is this the last time I'll ever see Canada? Hopefully this is like some kind of Sherlock/Irene Adler case where my executioner saves me right before they chop my head off.

Okay, so, considering that I'm probably going to die on this trip, I should go give my dog a hug or summat (don't make fun of me for saying summat, it's all Hagrid's fault), but... I'll save the hugging for later. She's furry and kinda smells like ass.

That's all I guess?

Viva.

Sleep Deprivation Brings You..........

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with anything right now.

I can't. I can't even. I can no longer even, I have lost my ability to even.

I knew that staying up all night was a bad idea, but Supernatural, right? Anyway, I'm all caught up now. Purgatory? Really? Writers, you are fucking with tiny hippo.
And of course,

 .

Oh, and the original comic for that is here, in case no one speaks internet like I do.

Although, almost everyone ever is familiar with tiny hippo. Which is why I refer to myself and occasionally my feels as tiny hippo. Because tiny ravens who fuck with my tiny hippo heart get shanked. Simple.

I'm off track.

Point being, my "meat suit" I suppose definitely didn't have the juice for this expedition, and it currently feels like every cell in my body is dying. I don't mean Lassie dying, I mean billion year old star imploding into a black hole kinda dying. I'm allergic to caffeine and I'm currently loaded on it so that might be a factor (not deadly allergic, mostly just unpleasantness). And also my sleep schedule has been effed for years; occasionally I go all off the rails like this.

It feels like some form of nauseating regeneration.

Sucks.

My brain is whirring around so weirdly right now I might as well be possessed, I nearly threw a brick through the tv screen cause some woman on it wouldn't shut up about pleather.

Daft old bitch.

She fucking with tiny hippo, man.

You know what happens when people fuck with tiny hippo.

I can't even type right now.

PRO: mother bought me lime gelato tea from david's, which is glorious.

Whatever hoodoo magic this "david" is working on this drink, I salute him. I once had carrot cake pu'erh tea. CARROT CAKE. And it tasted genuine! Just like this tastes like genuine lime gelato. I'm Italian, I KNOW.

-

Oh speaking of Italy, tomorrow I'm going to Rome.

Kinda failed to mention that bit when I was ceaselessly whining like a lil bitch about god knows what.

Yup. Rome with Sam and Rach (university cousins).

For seven days. Exciting! Hopefully I'll be able to score something or other to knock me out for the flight.
Actually, no, why even try? NOTHING WORKS. I can't sleep sitting up or lying down or upside down or EVER (exaggerating).

Brb, gonna go attempt to not die on my way to the bathroom. Fun timez.

Back! Good news, didn't vomit or die. I was kinda expecting that to be the last time I ever walked the earth, but eh. I'm paranoid.

hiuf;sfifhjkfrhjfrjuhjkrgrskjhdsrkjhearsjklaweijldsfgbhjdszfgijlbhjer
leave nme lakoienfkj

This human body is deteriorating, man. We are a SHITTY species.

I've mentioned this before, but

I just get such an INTENSE RAGE in my heart whenever I see a mommy blog

INTENSE

RAGE

IN TENTS
INSIDE OF THE TENTS
IN TENSE
PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE UP IN THIS MOTHER

RAGE

Repressed Alpha Female: Sucks

Sometimes I wonder how I would've turned out if it weren't for all this... inability to interact with people on an interpersonal level type stuff.

Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic.

I'm fine once I get comfortable with people, really.

But at the beginning I'm all "smile too hard and be polite until you can get out of this horrendously awkward situation ha ha jokey times please can I go home".

I kind of think I would've been an Alpha Female, you know? I mean, my personality and the general state of my psyche are 2 totally different things, and I can't help but feel like the latter is ruining my damn life.

I've got the characteristics! It's all here, buried in my head. I'm way too ambitious for my own good. I do kind of desperately long to be around people sometimes. I'm just cutthroat enough to not be all psycho evil bitch but to be all ain't no one fucks with tiny hippo. (+5 for you if you got that reference)
Alpha female. That sounds like me in the corners of my head, but not the me that I actively put forth unto this glorious, unsuspecting world. Because I can't. I try, and then I open my damn mouth and I've got 70 billion different types of "what?" spewing from my maw.

And sometimes (kinda now) I think it's all a load of bullshit and it's all in my head and why should I feel nervous ever? About anything?

And I know how people work, I know what to do I just can't do it because I think too hard and actually, overestimate. Overestimate someone's intelligence or kindness or humanitarian qualities and it ruins my eyebrows as it blows up in my face because I'm not running on quite the same frequency as like anyone ever.

Or maybe it's just Teen Blogger Syndrome.

Second Time Already...

These Supernatural-based nightmares are getting ridiculous. 

This time it was from the perspective of Sam. I make an intense moose. Last time it was Dean. Still in the same mall, with the same weird demonic infectious virus, originating in a big bookstore. Oddly enough, I ended up choreographing a zombie dance to Stayin' Alive while wearing a leotard. Merely as a way to distract them, but still. Actually, during that time I was me, not Sam. Guess I couldn't envision Mr Jolly Green dancing to the Bee Gees. That changed after I was done being sassy and wonderful, but still. And their weakness was still the same, and still remedied by shooting at them through what appears to be an ordinary first-person shooter game with the addition of a weird ass crystal. Big change though, this time I was chased by a little girl, who actually kind of reminded me of Lilith. Just a little. I think this time, it was a government construct-- last time they were fighting the disease, this time they were possibly weaponizing studying it.

My imagination must be getting tired.

I think this time I was veering more towards lucid. It felt kind of wrong, you know? And then I was ME whilst dancing like, um, a Drag Queen. And even when I was Sam, I felt like that wasn't quite right-- although I didn't have much time to ponder that, given that I was being chased around a mall by an infected six year old and worrying that her zombified compatriots would break out of their makeshift library prison.

I managed to get on the phone with Dean, who was massively unhelpful-- thanks, not big brother. Led me to wonder how they ever got separated in the first place.

I know no one really likes listening to a fifteen year old talk about a dream, ffs, but hell, my blog. I'll ignore my Target Market rule as long as I damn well please.

Weird. Weirdweirdweird. Weird that I've had what seems to be a part 1 featuring Dean Winchester and a part 2 featuring Sam Winchester. Didn't know my head was organized like that. Also weird that this time the government was all wonky, unlike last time. Maybe Dean appeals more to authority figures? ........No, I knew that was wrong before I'd even finished thinking it.

Someone help, I'm going stir crazy.

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